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When you’ve lived with multiple sclerosis (MS) for as long as I have, you sometimes forget or block out negative experiences you’ve had over the years. As The Rolling Stones put it, “Time is on my side.”
One particular memory seems distant, but I know it’s real, and unfortunately, the cause of this unpleasant recollection is chronic.
We built our first home in 1994. It was a beautiful ranch sitting on two acres of land. Our son was 16 months old, and we were excited to begin our life as a family in a gorgeous setting. The house required a lot of work between construction plans and decorating, but we had no complaints. We knew we were blessed.
Then one day, we went shopping at a local hardware store to choose bathroom tiles. As I pushed my son in his stroller, I felt an odd sensation, a kind of aura that’s difficult to describe. I had been diagnosed with MS eight years earlier but had never experienced anything like this before.
My mind went blank. I didn’t lose consciousness, but I had a feeling of being lost in a dark place, bombarded with horrible images. I yelled for my husband who came running, took the stroller, and led me to a chair. My thoughts were frightening and eerie. Though the episode lasted mere seconds, it felt like an eternity.